Worst Jokes Ever
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
Vagina jokes aren’t funny, period.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why did the orphan eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come home with the milk.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.