Worst Jokes Ever
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
What is the best item at a Mexican Burger King?
Hopper Jr.
The cemetery sure is overcrowded today.
I guess people are dying to get in.
Kid: "Grandma, what's dark humour?"
Grandma: "See that man in the wheelchair over there?"
Kid: "But Grandma! I'm blind!"
Grandma: "Exactly."
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Spider-Man: No Way Home.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”