Worst Jokes Ever

Why are women like hurricanes?

They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.

Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.

Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.

Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.

Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?

Because they have a history of separating colors.

What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.

I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?

Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.

The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.

The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.

How to get quick cash:

Step 1: Kill a child's parents.

Step 2: Do foster care for them.

Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.

My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.

I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.

If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.

What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?

Adolf Hit Her.

What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?

"Keep this shit between you and me."

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.