Worst Jokes Ever

My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.

What does 9 and 36 add up to?

A life in prison.

Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's black and white, black and white, black and white...?

A dead nun rolling down a hill.

It would be fun, they said...

It was unsinkable, they said...

What's an old Japanese man's last words?

"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"

What do you call somebody in America that is smart?

An immigrant.

I bet you're naked under all those clothes. Slut.

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.

*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?

I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.

His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."

You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.

What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.

How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!

Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're annoying as fuck.

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.