Worst Jokes Ever
Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Are you the Twin Towers?
Because I want to smash you.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
I just
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
You wanna hear a joke?
You.
Why is your mom's butt so smelly? Cause she wipes poorly.
FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?
LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?
FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!
LONELY ORPHAN: :(
A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?