Worst Jokes Ever
When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."
My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?
"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" đ
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
Whatâs the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason Iâm "bonely" is because you guys donât find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get peopleâs attention, but "tibia" honest I canât be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesnât really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
When I mist, I miss.
If orphans arenât religious, they really have no father. đ
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
Is your oven running?
Then you better go catch it!
Deeeeeertt.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
Q: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere!
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.