Worst Jokes Ever

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.

What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?

Suicide Squad.

This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.

Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?

'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.

If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.

Why are nuts on boys?

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

Why do orphans play GTA?

So they can get wanted.

Look! An ancient African city!

From the makers of Timbukone...

Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.

If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

I took a sip of water.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

Why do orphans like boomerangs?

Because then they can play catch.

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

MAGAnon STOP SCAMING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!