Worst Jokes Ever

How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

What do Africans eat for breakfast?

E-bola Cornflakes.

What do you call a flat emo?

Cutting board.

I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."

Is your mom a virgin?

Mine is.

How am I alive?

You tell me.

Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.

Disappointing.

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?

Kids won't eat broccoli.

Your face.

What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?

Moorry Christmas!

(Even though cows can't really have religions.)

Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.

Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?

They're out of plane sight.

That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.

He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.

Player 138 eliminated...

What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?

The home screen.

Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!

YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.

And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.

Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!

I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.

Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.

It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...

END!

Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!

Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!

Axe it's head, axe it's head.

Axe it's head, defeat him.

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What is the perfect job for a pedophile?

A physical doctor for kids.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.