Worst Jokes Ever
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their family.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
Uranus craps diamonds and is a cow 🐮.
I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆
If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Why is Chloe's forehead so big? Because her forehead is king-size.
What do you call one orphan taking a photo?
A family photo.
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Suck my cheetah.
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.