What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
Worst Jokes Ever
God is fake.
Do orphans love doing crime?
'Cause they want to be wanted.
The is the no the yes yes the no the.
Balls.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
What do you call a fetus with Down syndrome? An abortion.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
Yo mama so poop and peepee and sucks on dick.
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
Yo mama so fat, her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count.
Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.
Also dwarf: can’t see.
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.
Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.
Why is 1 equal to 22?
4 is too busy and one has the 21s to 4!
Pee.