Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he doesn't have parents.
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
Player 138 eliminated...
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!
YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.
Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!
I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.
It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...
END!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!
Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!
Axe it's head, axe it's head.
Axe it's head, defeat him.
SUBSCRIBE!!!
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Why are nuts on boys?
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!