Worst Jokes Ever
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?
Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.