Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
"Racecar" spelled backwards is "racecar," but "racecar" sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
Should I do a face reveal?
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Siu!!
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
Finish the lyrics in the comments-
iTs CoRn!
Social media after banning Trump from every platform: “Haha he’s so embarrassed that he doesn’t speak anymore...what an idiot!”