Worst Jokes Ever
What type of movies are orphans not allowed to watch?
PG movies.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
Why do you play Call of Duty?
I actually don't know.
I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Good Morning, Everyone! Have an amazing day!
So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!
So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
"Gwen, this was a fake look in the comments!"
Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.
What’s blue and comes in brownies?
Cub Scouts.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.