Worst Jokes Ever

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

Your disabled joke on you can't stand.

If you want an orphan joke, just look in a mirror.

A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.

Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai

Why was 10 scared?

Because he was in-between 9-11.

What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?

If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because their dad never came back.

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.

A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

Twitter just blew my mind.

I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!

What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Roses are red, that much is true.

But violets are violet, not f*ing blue!