Worst Jokes Ever
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
Why doesn't the Chinese have a cricket team?
It's cuz they always eat the bat.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, just to go skydiving twice.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.
One was just a plane tortilla.
The other one was also just a plane tortilla.
And the third one went to the wrong address.