Worst Jokes Ever
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.