How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
Worst Jokes Ever
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.
Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.
I accidentally sucked my own ball sack.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Why can't orphans play House Flipper?
'Cause they don't know what to do.
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
Why do orphans play baseball?
That’s the only way they can run to home.