Worst Jokes Ever

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

And Sterling has taken a dive.

That's all for financial news, back to the football.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

I was Gandalf the Grey.

But now, after just three washes...

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

Pineapple turnover.

Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.

A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was on LSD. "I See a Dreamer."

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.