Worst Jokes Ever
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his ass.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Why is 10 afraid? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
My grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology." I said, "We will see about that," and I unplugged his life support.
What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country.
People judge me because I'm quiet.
No one plans a massacre out loud.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.