Worst Jokes Ever
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
How do you know when an orphan is lying?
When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "Daddy."
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
Have you seen the new movie Constipation?
You haven't?
That's because it hasn't come out yet.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.