I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
I told a orphan there was 363 days in a year
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms. In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."
i told siri my dog and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up and i said okay.she asked me knock knock and i said who is there and she said not your dog
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he cant get 5 stars because he ain't wanted
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."
i told a blind kid “see you later”
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
