Told jokes

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."

I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.

I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They told her to go find the light.

I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.

He hugged me!

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.