Today Jokes

Website Records

Most Likes: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5aea13992886f22c3e98bd88/why-are-priests-called-father Most Dislikes: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5a6f42308b40a83af3dda515/today-was-a-terrible-day Worst Dislike Ratio: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5b5293efa5535a611745773c/guys-go-ot-httpsworstjokesevercomjokes5b3937c1a328f6072c316bd6hey-guys-who-wants-to-play-roblox-with-me-we-can-go Most Comments: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603e8cd3eccd25122cb21897/guys-lets-make-this-post-have-the-most-comments-on-the-whole-website

All records are as of March 11th 2021

Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion where yesterday’s lost is today’s sauce

Why couldn’t Billy go to school today? The bus driver hit sally

A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.

Hey guys! Ello here with a update! I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to downtown disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that, then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay til midniht, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!

Today sucked my freind fell of a cliff and I went to jail

I quit my job at the bank today I lost interest.

Very sad today found my pet mouse ' Elvis ' dead this morning, he was caught in a trap .

A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex. The poor guy asks the rich guy "what'd you get for your wife today?" The rich guy replies " I got her a diamond ring and a mercedes" The poor guy asks "Why did you get two gifts for her?" Rich guy says "If she doesn't like the diamond ring then she can return it in her mercedes" Rich guy asks the poor guy " what'd you get for your wife" Poor guy says " I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo" Rich guy asks "why did you get two gifts for her?" The poor guy says " If she doesnt like the slippers then she can go fuck herself. "

Nothing lasts long these days! As Confucius says - Hare today, gone tomorrow!

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling so I put a car-pit over it

hello everybody its me mariplier and today im goin to be balling at freddys

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom,I checked inside her ham sandwich and there was fresh drugs.

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing!!! Tomorrow I am going to six flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR day!!!!!! Woohooo!!!!

“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”

This is true today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said “need money for strippers and weed”