Time Jokes

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

What do you call a dog 🐶 that tells time?

A watchdog.

The Barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

how to make time fly

answer throw a clock out of the window

Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses, she missed very much.

She told her "Hey, long time no see."

I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!

My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

What’s the only time you can do almost whatever you want

When you have a gun in you hand

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time! Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said "The choclates are on me!" every one cheerid.

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