Time jokes
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.
Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.
I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.
I'm going to leave now, so bye.
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.
Lucky for me I'm only 210.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.