*One day u see a girl climb a pole and ask her* Why are u climbing that pole Because a boy payed me to He did that to see your underwear Oh. Ok *next day u see her do the same thing* why are u ding the same thing Well I got him this time. I did not wear underwear
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both easy to lay. Both costly and time consuming to get rid of. .... What did saint peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly ? Wipe that Merc of your face.
I was kicked out of a orphanage kitchen because I yelled hurry up some of us have homes to get back to.
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. Weβd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
I asked my Dad the other day.."At what age is it ok to have sex with girls?"He replied "When they leave school son, they are legal" Apparently 3.15pm is not what he meant.
Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left
Why are Indians so good at football? Each time they get a corner they open a shop.
Guy: "can I tell you a joke?" Spiderman: "yes" Guy: "you only have 11 months on your calendar" Spiderman: "why" Guy: holds up knife* "because I murdered May"
I CAN MAKE 9/11 JOKES BUT EVERY TIME I DO THEY CRASH AND BURN
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake but it ended up fulfilling the 5 year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop an 12
why is it annoying to eat by basket ball players? because they dribble all the time.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think damn better luck next time
I had a good time with friends
I tried to make a belt out of watches. But it was a waist of time
What time is it when it turns 13 O clock?
Time to get a new watch
Q. why did the orphan rob a bank
A. to feel wanted for the first fucking time
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer...?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why was the asian late to class
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook
