I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep
what did the chancla say to the belt it's time
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
One random youtube comment in 2018: Soon, A virus will come to earth A year later: Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha Another year later: Time to die a painful death. Another year later: God has come with the cure
This dude is so fat wearing the same damn clothes everyday. Everytime he turn around it's his graduation day he forgot to put a boomerang on his pants cause they don't even fit no more.last time I saw him coming down the street it was in a bucket of popeye"s chicken extra crispy.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.
My joke: You have to guess answers come at 3:00 Why did the cow jump in space
Hint... it smelled it fav food 🍱 and saw his futu
That hint was technically the whole awnser can you guess in 3 hours lol I will be posting every time and my give away starts at 5:00 my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What time do Chinese people go to the dentist Tooth hurty (2:30)
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in heaven
Time for a random Terraria joke Q: Why did the guide die at his house? A: The player dropped his doll in the lava. (WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap
People are fighting in a war and a man gets hit 4 times in the arm and says "Tis a Scratch" And the other guy looking at him in shock says "A Scratch, Your Arm is off you body"
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
Once upon a time there was a poor man, a middle class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle class man said "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me." And then the wall fell on them.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
