What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
What month has 28 days?
Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.
Yo mama so old, she got nostalgia for the Big Bang!
Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.
By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
