Time jokes
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
So they can be wanted for once.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.