Tie jokes
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
What do you call a Chinese person with 1 leg? Tie Son Whu.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
A man asks to play kick the bucket (not death).
The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt. Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other one's foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff, which brings the man with it. LOL
THE END
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
What type of bow can't be tied?
Rainbow.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?
For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In tiny Knotsies.
I like my women like I like my wine. Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."