*An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can't reach it so she calls her son for help* *a few minutes later* son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- *slips and noose chokes her to death*
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees.
1 baby tied to 5 trees,
how does Hitler tie his shoes? into little Nazi's
what is an emo kid's favorite song? chain hang low because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree
“Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.”
My builder was extending my basment when he questioned me because he found three ded kids n a corner tied together
boy: "why cant you get a family" me: "why cant you get a rope" boy: "wdym" friend and me: "we can show you" me: "i will tie the rope" friend: "i will push the chair"
Why can’t a tree have sex they are always tied up
How do Germans tie their shoes ? Answer: In Nazis !
Q:Why did the first Koala Fall off the tree A: Because it was dead Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too. Q:Why did the third Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down Q:Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree A: It was tied to the fifth koala Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree A: Peer group pressure
what do you call a chinese person with 1 leg? tie son whu
one time little johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree and he moved the stoll and the tree broke. little johnny screamed. " HAHA Your skinny enough to break the tree"
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tieing them up
How to be a hero. 1. Tie a noose in your front yard. 2. Find and capture a furry. 3. Hang that furry because they deserve it. It’s easy as 1-2-3!
You’re so short I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.
People who are annoying. There are to of them.
1. Capet.
2. Akeld.
The winner is "Akeld." although Jordan Calerendiá comes in with a tie. Yah! Not really!
So there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here so take your drink, mates and fuck off." He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense." replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, He's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!". He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink he opens with, "Say aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
Hay man what’s your name oh my name is do your balls hang low can you swing it to in fro can you tie it in a not can you tie it in a bow
