I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
The belt broke.
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Suicide isn't funny but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts? -- A waist of your time...
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
