Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
My friendâs neighborâs house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Why tie when you can knot?
What type of bow can't be tied?
Rainbow.
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! Iâve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Letâs start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, whatâs your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) Thatâs not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I donât care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, youâre hired! We need more honesty around here!
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
âHey, tie your shoes! I donât want you falling for anyone else.â
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tieing them up
How to be a hero. 1. Tie a noose in your front yard. 2. Find and capture a furry. 3. Hang that furry because they deserve it. Itâs easy as 1-2-3!
Youâre so short I bet you donât have to bend to tie your shoelaces.
what do you call a chinese person with 1 leg? tie son whu
