Threat jokes

Ur next.

A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.

He just turned a blind eye.

Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."

Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!

What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?

"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"

"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”

Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.

Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.

Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.

Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.

Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!

Do nut get in my way.

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.