Threat jokes

Ur next.

A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.

He just turned a blind eye.

Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."

Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!

"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."

What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?

"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.

Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.

Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.

Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.

Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!

Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.

Do nut get in my way.