Threat jokes
I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.
Buy KFC or else.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
jacethehater, you are a hater, and it needs to stop! Waterhsharky is very nice to people, so leave him alone for whatever he/she did or did not do. He did not do nothing. So leave him/her alone. Plus, making threats to people is very bad, and comments can be seen everywhere! So don't get too cocky with everything.
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.
"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.