Threat jokes

What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”

When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.

I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.

What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"

I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.

Buy KFC or else.

When someone tells me to kill myself,

Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have a gun,

GET IN THE VAN!!

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.

"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.

I SAID GO TO BED BEFORE I SLAP THOSE SPOTS OFF OF YOU!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.

I will mummyfry you!

My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."

I know where you live! I saw you before!

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

Roses are red, Burnt bodies are black.

You'd look great With a knife in your back.