Think jokes

When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.

You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...

It's too hard.

So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

I just had sex...

I think I nailed it!

(Shit joke, I know.)

Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!

Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?

Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?

Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.

|| 20 YEARS LATER ||

Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?

Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.

Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.

Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.

Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.

I am thinking of removing my spine.

It's only holding me back.

Bf: What do you think about our love?

Gf: Count the stars in the sky.

Bf: Aww, it's infinity.

Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.

Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.