So I told my sister want hear some jokes and she was like hit me with best shot fire away and I was like okay I know ur singing and old song yeah I was trying to see if u sing too and I said who do u think I am Chris brown Hi
Why do people think about handsome boys at night? Because their dreamy!
Do you think Stephen Hawkins could ever plug his Instagram or anything
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex but one second later she did on the street with a criminal
9/11 happened...right? The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
Akeld: Do you think I should get an edges or a tapeline?
Me: Why not make both of them there both messed up anway.
when ur cousin dies and everybody thinks ur her
FUCKING MENT
Prankster is Backster...DANG IT: Hey guys, prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I won't have to go to school. Introduction: This prank was commentited a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning! 1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives...will those are main ingreidents. 2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just make it look really like barf...no going to school today! 3. I put it under the sofa just give it some solid scence to it. 4. I fix my breakfast eggs and becon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need some thing its in my room I don't want to get cause it would wast time" She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good''! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...aboulty nothing! Will thats the prankster anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
A man (ameenya sheed) text a nother man(bob) and said
"Hi im, ameenya sheed."
Bob" you not in my shed because i dont have one but i have a garage, i dont think your in there:
I always look at the earth and think 'ahh this is TREE-ific
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook she literally posts everyday but this day was sort kind of a hard hit. so what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85 and i dont want to explain what milf means but she got a lot of DM ́s from a lot of old guys. BUT, This one exact guy names Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do a adult film. idk what that is i think its a adult movie of course so she says yes and flys out to San Diego And she never came back after yesterday. and to YOU Johnny Sins my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be a adult movie and not a Por...
So my sis thinks she's so smart she said you can finish this move ten minutes later go to sleep
One day the Pope is coming to America in his Limo and he said to the driver, „Why don’t you let me drive for ones.“ The driver thinks to him self, „Well I can’t say no to this guy, he’s the pope.“ So the driver pulls over and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, „slow down a bit, you might get pulled over.“ The Pope says, „Ahhh, don’t worry about it, I’m the Pope.“ So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, „Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute.“ The Pope says, „Sure.“ The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, „Guys I just pulled over some one really important.“
They ask who, „The President?.“ „No more important.“ „The president of another country.“ „No more important.“ „An ambassador.“ „No even more important.“ „Well who is it.“ „I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur.“