Think jokes

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!

Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.

Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:

1. USA was NEVER invaded!

2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!

3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!

4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.

5. We have more allies than you.

6. We are smaller but stronger.

7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!

How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..

With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌

I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?

Some people think emo jokes are funny, but I think it can cut both ways.

Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅

Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?

Hello, which do y'all think is more embarrassing to have, is it autism or Down syndrome?

Maybe Leo actually isn’t stupid... maybe she just has bad luck with thinking!

What's the funniest joke ever?

Rapboat thinking he can rap.

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"

Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?

One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."