Think jokes

Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀

British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎

Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.