Think jokes

A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!

Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.

Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?

Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.

|| 20 YEARS LATER ||

Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?

Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.

Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.

I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.

How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..

With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.

A fat man meets a skinny man.

The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."

And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."

Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.

I think I know why Stephen Hawking died, he pressed Alt+F4.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.

He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.

Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.

Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE

Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

Class: no one stands up.

Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*

Little Johnny: *stands up*

Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.

Who names their dog Donuts?

What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?

Do you think he saw us?

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.