When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man is is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
