Things jokes

What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?

A fumble bee.

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

What thing can an orphan do best?

Stay at home alone.