Things jokes
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
Memes
Unless you wanna die
What an upside to being an orphan!
There's things called family-size bags.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.