Things jokes
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
What an upside to being an orphan!
There's things called family-size bags.