Things jokes

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

What thing can an orphan do best?

Stay at home alone.

Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.