Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
So many things are going through my head
How am I not dead yet?
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
