New Things Jokes - Page 34 - Worst Jokes Ever

Daughter: Dad, why are you so mean?

Dad: Because you are so mean, that's why.

Daughter: You so get on my nerves.

Dad: I am gonna slap you in your god darn head if you don't shut up.

Daughter: Wow, Dad, you savage.

Dad: 21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daughter: Oh my God, I am tellin' Mom that you are doin' that thing again.

Why do orphans play tennis? Because that's the only thing they love.

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?

The helicopter blade!

Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?

Answer: Your brain.

Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!

High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.

Why does Trump build a wall?

There’s such a thing as a ladder.

Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

What is the difference between a human and a magic house to get to a tree and a house to get to the earth to get home 🏡? Day today I have to get my kids and oooooo.

I love still things.

So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

What is boring? Talking about boring things.

1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

Are these good?

When did “yo” mean Hello?

They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."