They're jokes
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
What do 9/11 and 911 have in common?
They're twins.
Have you heard the Twin Tower jokes? Well, they're more down than the Twin Towers.
I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
Why can’t orphans eat big bags of chips?
Cause they're family size. ✌🏻😂🤣😅🥲
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Some people call them glue sticks, but they're blue sticks.
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.