They're jokes
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
Why are mountains never serious?
Because they’re hill areas.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?
Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
'Cause they're dead.
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
Why do people laugh at mountains?
Because they're HILLarious!
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.