They're jokes
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
Why are mountains never serious?
Because they’re hill areas.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.