They jokes
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't have a home.
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the only contraction they know.
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations