They jokes
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
Why can’t you play Uno with Mexicans?
Because they steal all the green cards!
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find a home.
I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why can't orphans play soccer?
They can't kick.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"
Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."
Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"
So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.