My brackets are so high on my teeth, they must be smoking something.
Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.
A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Why can't orphans go to the store? Because they throw everything around.
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Why do balls be hairy? Cause they stinky!
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.
What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?
They both break your heart.
Two Indians went to a fine restaurant. They ordered parathas with curry. HAHAHAHAHA
