They jokes
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
Why can't an orphan have an iPad?
They can't find the home button.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one; they are both the same thing.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
How are urinals made?
They get installed.
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
The students at Columbine needed books, but all they got were magazines.
Why do women only use their left arm? Because they don’t have rights.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!