They jokes
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
joe mama roast
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.
Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.
Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.
What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Why do orphans only have 362 days of the year?
... bc they don’t have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or Thanksgiving.