They jokes
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
Ah shit, here they come
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?
Because they have a history of separating colors.