They Jokes

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.

How do skeletons have sex?

They bone each other.

What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.

Before the class starts

A classroom scene is shown with various cartoon and animated characters sitting at desks, including the Joker, Pikachu, Peter Griffin, and others. A white duck is also present. The text on the image says: "What substitute teachers see when they walk into class:".

Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.

Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?

They don't have a dad to check the closet.

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

Why are Americans so dumb?

Because they shoot the ones that go to school.

What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.

Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.

Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.