They jokes
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Memes
They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
They say they found water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.