They jokes

Tombstone

    • A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

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    • Baseball

    • Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

    1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

    3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

    4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

    5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

    6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

    7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

    8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

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    • Orphan

    • Why can't an orphan be gay?

    Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)

    Emo

    • What did the emo say to the popular kid?

    "Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

    Satan

    • Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?

    'Cause they made a juice out of him.

    They memes

    Sex

    • A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

    Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.

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    • Emo

    • An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.

    Who hit the ground first?

    The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.

    Cake

    • Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.

    So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”

    So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

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    • Dark Humor

    • What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

    What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.

    What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.

    What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.

    Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.

    What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.

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    • Bill

    • Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

    When God gives you glory, you give it back.

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    • Piece

    • I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

    P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

    Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

    “They are all very tearable,” he replied.

    Well, there is one person who gets it!

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