They jokes
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
Memes
some say lil durk and king von were friend's, but others say they were cousin's. HELP ME OUT which is it.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."
Who is the fastest reader? The 9/11 victims, because they went through 20 stories.
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."