Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
They Jokes
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.
The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"
The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."
The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."
The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"
The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why were the twin towers fighting?
Because they ordered pepperoni but got plain.
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
Why do orphans play with boomerangs?
Because they come back.
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have got no home to run to.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans?
They already lost two towers.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
