They jokes

It would be fun, they said...

It was unsinkable, they said...

You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!

Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?

I hear they got six months each.

Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/

Why are eagles 🦅 bald?

Because they don’t wear wigs.

What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?

They become in-bread.

A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.

Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”

One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!

A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"

One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."

The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."

The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.

Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.

Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?

Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?

So they don't whistle on the way down!

Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.

People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

In a white van.

Why do mountains get so big?

They have no natural predators.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.