They jokes
Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I hate likebeggars. They are just writing some stupid "like if" shit just to get attention. I mean, that's so lazy, so unoriginal, and stupid.
Anyways, can this get 100 likes, please?
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
Why do orphans pray to God?
So they have someone to call father.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"