They jokes
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in seconds.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.