They jokes
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
Memes
Well.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)