They jokes
I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in seconds.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Why are frogs good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.