They jokes
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.