Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
What jumps higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.
So people call me poor until they see my bank account.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
Q: Why don't Indians play soccer?
A: Because every time they're in the corner, they open a store.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
