Thereness jokes
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Why do all orphans get iPhone X's?
There isn't a home button.
Hello there!
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Hi guys, the prankster is back!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!
Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!