Thereness jokes

What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."

You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.

I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!

What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like your's belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.

There are 206 bones in my body.

When I look at you, it becomes 207.

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."

Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.

If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.

What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

Why do orphans like to go to church?

Because they actually have a father there.

My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?

None because they don't have a home.