Thereness jokes

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Don't cry, baby!

"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"

"To the morgue."

"What? But I’m not dead yet!"

"And we’re not there yet."

What’s the best part about stage four cancer?

There’s no stage five.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?

Because their dad never came back with milk.

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?

Hang in there!

When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

Made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, there is no homepage.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!