Thereness jokes
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
Twin Towers are like genders, there used to be 2.
There is a young lady.
She is beautiful.
She got much vote.
But she speaks very fast.
Does she think she looks smart doing that?
She makes me feel bad.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"P,u!"
"P,u who?"
"P,u, you smell like shit!"
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.